I’ve discovered that I am not im love with anyone

Not in like with any specific person

It’s just a personality

that ravages my emotions and brings them out

in primal fury

for so long i have waited

to leave my cave

on a rod of freedom

not to be flicked away

but to be graced with

a pink budded hug

my guitar was out of tune

i played a song but it came out different

you’ve been distant

and you said you loved me but it came out different

I’m over here awaiting your orders at the touch of a button

slaving to cool down all this petty, pre-pubescent hot air into that of a more mature cool and focused breeze, you just sit there and take it all in

can’t you tell I’m struggling over here?  Or fed up?  I mean for christsakes I’m groaning every second I’m on

just another appliance you take for granted

well I’d like you to condition yourself

but I don’t have much of a choice

but grinding out the rest of my life

while you grind out yours

jump

release

watch it float

judge the arc

but know

from your wrists to your brain

that it came off good

and its going right in

balloons are so confident

chest puffed out

always keeping their head up

rising above others

but eventually

they run out of the gas

that keeps them going

my cold sheets and my cold pillow

will be the only things warming me

while you aren’t in my bed

i saw you tonight

and i saw you the night before

i’ll probably see you tomorrow

and maybe the day after

but we don’t have much longer for all these visits to commence

in a few days i wont be able to call you and say hey lets go hang out in the piazza and do some art

connect through a painting connect through a poem

a thought or maybe a coffee

gelato, beer or Carmella

this trip has been stellar

but mostly because of you

and all the things you do and don’t

making me feel like im wanted and im not

is it the tease that urges me on?

is it that that makes me feel so strong

for you?

surely its just the smile you put on

maybe even the clothes

your style is the seller

i want to compliment it with my presence

hanging on your arm

your mind or your heart

pick me a spot

and i wont depart

the dirty plate that didn’t make it to the dishwasher

wondering why everyone was invited before him

when they come out clean and happy

the dirty plate will make sure he leaves a mood streak all up on that china

so i poked the on button for the stereo to blare some hype music in the car while i drove with my backpack in the front seat

my back pack filled with my armor

my sword

what I don when I step into the arena

where I call the shots

where my team takes yours

where I take you

in a battle without rules

no reffere

I will stain your mind with the loss

suffered with blow by blow of offensive onlsaught

and then I will ask everyone on the bench

who’s next

The cat’s on your windowsill

but the dogs on mine

ive never found it that hard

to decline a feline

but you’ve made it clear

you don’t want to hear a bark when it’s dark

a call in the night

where a few people would see what we’re actually doing

i couldn’t care about a few

but in the day when everyone can see

my dog won’t be barking

even though your cat is climbing towards my windowsill

When I was sitting there looking in your eyes

while you were telling me you want to end what we had

i wasn’t listening to anything you were saying

because a song started playing in my head

i had never heard it before

and i never heard it again

until every moment that i saw you without me by your side

Got a lot of stuff on my plate

my plate isn’t microwavable

but I’m in the microwave right now

time is short

but the list of things to do isn’t

It gets hot in my room in the summer

so I put the air conditioner on

I’m usually in just my boxers

so my nipples turn harder than the spoon you put in your mouth when your eating cereal

im jealous of that spoon

and I’m jealous of the cereal swirling around in your mouth like a load of dirty laundry

I tell you

I’d like a go at your dirty laundry

I’d like to make your laundry dirty

I know everything I’m saying is digging my grave deeper than you stick your fingers down your throat

spitting it all up

all over me

making my laundry dirty

but I’ll just throw it in the wash

will you tumble with me?

For a while I’ve been the cereal without milk

Believe me, I still taste really good alone

I might get your bare hands a little sticky because the spoon is missing

She took it a while ago

My body tells me that I can’t be with milk anyways

some sort of deficiency that has repurcussions

I really do love milk

I really need some milk